“Church Hurt”, Healing and the Root Cause

Throughout my ministry, I have encountered people who have been seeking consolation and understanding because they have experienced deep wounds caused by Church Leadership or members of the local body.  We’re not talking about small offenses that just simply need clarification. We’re talking about feelings of abandonment, control, suppression, and a number of other means.  The person feels betrayed, unsafe, and once that has been broken, it’s hard to gain trust again.

Jesus himself understands betrayal.  The betrayal by one of his own disciples was part of the course of events that brought Jesus to his appointed time on the cross. However, there is also the realization that Jesus actually expected the betrayal that he experienced. He knew this was a part of the package. As a matter of fact, he prophesied it. Aside from the fact that Jesus does know what it likes to feel hurt and betrayed, his betrayal is different because he knew it was coming. We, however, are thrown off track and feel as though we’ve been hit by a Mac Truck and blind-sided by Leadership or fellow believers. If you’re reading this today because you’ve been hurt by the Church, I hope that what I share in the rest of this article will be insightful and give you what you need to further the healing process.

Yes, it’s a known fact, we will all experience betrayal. We begin to interact and develop relationships at a very early age. It starts at the very beginning when you’re little playmate steals the toy you were playing with, on that very first play date. We learn to give and take, with mutual sharing and trust as we grow in our friendships throughout our youth to adulthood.  However, betrayal by Church Leadership is actually traumatic to the psyche of a person. The traumatized person can’t even be in the familiar surroundings of the church building that they once felt safe in because the attack has come from within their safety net. I’ve seen it many times as I’ve ministered to others throughout my ministry.  I have also been there myself and so what I’m sharing is also personal for me too.  The whole being, spirit, and soul carry that wound. It will eventually affect the overall well being of an individual who is betrayed. The answer to healing the wounds of betrayal is finding “closure”.

I’m assuming that you have walked through the Biblical steps to reconcile with your offender, and perhaps gone as far as trying to reconcile with the presence of other church leaders to support you according to Matthew 18:15-17. Once the pain will not subside, what are the steps to closure?  I know it’s hard to come forward and say, “Hey, this happened to me when you did this. I don’t know if you’re aware, but I just wanted to let you know that your actions really affected me.”  Why is it important to say these things?  It’s because it sets you free, and sheds light on the circumstances for both you and the one who offended you.  From there, you might learn that your hurt was caused by a simple misunderstanding.  You might also learn that your offender had no idea that they did anything wrong. When you share with them, they may receive insight and realize that they need to be more aware of their own actions or priorities. It will also give them greater insight as to how they can be a more effective leader and Shepherd of their congregation.  A simple practice of immediately addressing spiritual concerns as a priority, more than church activity and busy-ness, can accomplish greater things and bring about a healthier welfare for the hurt individual, the offender, the Leadership and the local body as a whole.

When you bring your concern to your offender and there is no reconciliation, “closure” is still necessary. The closure must take place at the time that you officially withdraw membership or involvement with that local body. This will prevent you from becoming “stuck” in your pain. Speak to the betrayer with a forgiving and non-vengeful heart, and simply express the need to move on so that you can take some time to heal. The simple mention of separating yourself from them to take time to heal will confirm that pain has been caused.  A Pastor who does not consider how they have caused their own congregation member pain is not a Shepherd and quite likely has their own set of spiritual problems.  God’s grace must be applied and must be the primary focus of that conversation. For some people, this will be a process for you to work through so that you can bring yourself to have this conversation with the offending Leader.

Here are some things to keep in mind.

It’s okay to cry.  Psalm 56:8 says, “ You keep track of all my sorrows.  You have collected all my tears in your bottle.  You have recorded each one in your book.”   How precious are the tears we shed? One day he will wipe them all away when we see him face to face, but he also collects all our tears, saves them and keeps track of all our sorrows.”  The Psalmist David is expressing his trust in God, knowing that God will not forget his pain and sorrow. 

God is on your side.  The Psalmist David also expressed this when he says, in the midst of this troubling time, “This I know, God is for me” (Psalm 56:9, ESV) and “In God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?” (verse 11, ESV).

Guard your heart.  Do not grow bitter or angry, Scripture says in Proverbs 4:23 that what you hold in your heart, affects your well being and perhaps your own destiny.   Take a look ……The New International Version says, Above all else, guard your heart, for “everything you do” flows from it.  The New Living Translation says, Guard your heart above all else, for it “determines the course of your life” and the English Standard Version says, Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the “springs of life”.

It’s okay to feel and express hurt. However, guard your heart so that the hazardous wastes such as bitterness and anger and other negative emotions, don’t cause blockage and prevent you from walking in the fullness of your calling and destiny.

Don’t Wallow. When we feel emotional pain, our first tendency is to withdraw.  It’s okay to take time alone to process things, but be careful not to become isolated. You know that you have a “Godly tribe” of people you can trust. Reach out to them and ask them to pray with you.  If you don’t, it will be easy for the enemy to dig a deeper “emotional grave” for you.  If you isolate yourself too much, depression can set in. It then becomes harder and may take longer to be free from the trauma.

Don’t turn it into Gossip. Someone has hurt you but that doesn’t give you the right to tell everyone. You will poison others with words that only reflect your pain. It could paint the wrong picture of yourself and other people involved. You are not the judge of your offender. Let God work out the details of your offender’s own journey.

Remember God’s Faithfulness. Everything that you have experienced in the darkness, is not where you live. In the past, there were times when you experienced his faithfulness and direction.  In the times of darkness, don’t doubt, what you have already seen in the light, All those times in your life, when you experienced God’s goodness, they remain a testimony of his faithfulness to you. His goodness is still there in the darkness because he will bring you through. He will dispel the darkness when you focus on him.  John 1:5 says, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”  When our eyes are on Jesus, and we follow after him, we have the light of life, as John 8:12 so evidently points out. ” When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

Christ’s example. There is one key that is most important. It unlocks freedom for me and you.  Jesus demonstrated it by his example on the cross. The word is “forgiveness.”  It’s absolutely necessary that you and I walk in forgiveness so that every step ahead easily brings healing and restoration, and victory.

Recognize the true source of discord.   Discord is the opposite of unity and dwelling in one accord.  Even when we disagree with one another, God’s love is the common ground of our unity. However, when trust is broken, the door has been opened to one of the enemy’s greatest weapons in the church. It’s called “Discord”. He will stir it in every manner with the most common and only trick in his book. He does this through deception.  Don’t be deceived to believe that the only source of your current situation is just the faulty actions of others.  This is a good time to examine your own self to be certain that you did not play a part in the situation you’re facing. The enemy works through our own weaknesses, as well as the weakness and lack of discernment of others.

Enemy Cohorts

Proverbs 4:7 says that seeking wisdom brings understanding. Truly, this is the most important part of your struggle on the road to healing. There is wisdom and understanding when we realize that within the church, the enemy infiltrates with the Jezebel, Ahab and Leviathan spirit. This is the deception. The church really doesn’t know how to recognize the enemy’s game. This is a more comprehensive teaching for another time, but it stems from the story of Jezebel and Ahab. You can read this story in 1 King 16 and the chapters that follow.  Jezebel was a wicked queen who practiced witchcraft. Her chief operation was to have control, while her husband Ahab, as King, failed to rule his district with the proper command of a king. She was a headstrong, self-willed, domineering woman, and with a moral weakling for a husband, and they worshiped the false god Bail.  It is worth noting that the characteristics and influence of Jezebel, Ahab, and Leviathan enter through childhood wounds caused by Mother/Father relationships or rape, abuse, and molestation.  Leviathan, who twists words of truth, can influence because of pride, rejection and emotional wounds. Whether the person is in leadership or not, the person operating under this influence may not even be aware. They simply act out through the issues that flow from their heart.

There is a failure to genuinely discern that we are imperfect human beings, influenced by the enemy, warring not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, powers of this dark world and against the evil principalities in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

When you have experienced trauma, disappointment, betrayal, and church hurt, it only makes sense to take time to heal …. but remember who the real enemy is.

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Refresh Your Spirit this Christmas

Coming up December 11th, we’re having an Online Christmas Worship Concert. I’m so looking forward to sharing with you in the comfort of your home.  We’ll celebrate our Savior’s embarkment into this world, worship him and all he’s done for us together. Look below the video for details.

News will be released soon with the details. To get the latest news on the release of the Online Christmas Worship Concert just click “follow” at this link HERE

Laurie’s Radio Devotional show “Wings to Victory” has been growing. If you’re looking for Laurie’s Devotionals, please visit the “WTV” site

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Biblical Giving

Coming alongside a vision for ministry is a completely Biblical principle. The whole purpose as the Body of Christ is to be Co-laborers in Christ together for the sake of the Gospel. As Co-laborers, the Father personally oversees the blessing because of our giving, (Luke 6:38) as well as the open doors and growth that the ministry receives. The vision comes to fruition!

“The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.” 1 Corinthians 3-8,9

When the opportunity presents itself, giving to the work of the Lord is never a risk, no matter what your economic status is. This is because The Father returns to the giver (Luke 6:36). However, giving is not Biblical when you’ve been promised God will answer your prayer request when you give a specific amount of money. It is true that we can take a step of faith when we are believing for a personal miracle, however, it’s how you let God use what you hold in your hands, that determines your blessing.

1 Corinthians 3:12-13 (ESV)
Some will use gold, silver or precious stones in building on this foundation; while others will use wood, grass or straw. 13 But each one’s work will be shown for what it is; the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire — the fire will test the quality of each one’s work.

God, who is the giver of all gifts, and all blessings, will see that you are blessed back because his Word does not lie. It is written in Luke 6:38 (ESV) “Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”

This scripture is used often when referring to trusting God with what you already have, but like all promises, there is a key principle to learn from it.  It says, “For with the measure you use it…. it will be measured back to you.”

We have all been chosen and called to serve. Serving one another is “giving to one another”, in many different ways.  Giving does not mean that you no longer possess what you gave away. It means that it will be returned to you with a greater blessing.

Proverbs 11:25 (ESV) “Whoever brings blessing will be enriched and one who waters will himself be watered.”

… and so, the giving goes on and on and on.


Laurie started by just singing everybody else’s songs as a young girl in church, but God has increased her borders, as a Songwriter, Speaker, Author and producing the radio show “Wings to Victory” for the devotionals that she writes.   She is also the director of the Christian Women Fellowship, London Ontario (non-paying ministry position) Each step into a new gifting has expanded horizons with vision, to reach more people with the love of Jesus. Please consider supporting this ministry with an offering today.
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The Tale-Bearer’s Trouble

There’s a practice that is being used as a doctrine in the body of Christ, however, it is not scriptural and it brings condemnation on believers. Someone may have approached you to tell you that the reason there is adversity, trials or sickness in your life is due to sin in your life. This notion from people who are “tale-bearers of sin” fail to hear from God. Although a tale-bearer is someone who is a gossiper, some also take another perspective. They may claim to have discernment or a prophetic word from God for you. Tale-bearers are not being used by God and their words are a lie from the enemy. Scripture tells us that under grace, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. [Romans 8:1] They may see that you are being hit from all sides with attacks that are slowly breaking you down til you have nothing left to fight with, but God’s Word is full of promises and tells us what our rightful position is on this. Romans 8:37 sums it up by telling us that “in ALL these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” If the tale-bearer is right, proposing that we suffer because we are in sin, then the work Christ accomplished on the cross would be incomplete and his grace would not be enough. This is absolutely not true. It also goes against the character of God to use believers to lay judgment on other believers. It is the job of the Holy Spirit to lay conviction on each of us. It’s true that our disobedience will reap consequences and we will have natural consequences for our wrongful actions or sin. However, it is important to know that under the law of grace, it is not God who punishes when we face trials. It’s possible that it can be an attack from the enemy, or simply the result of living in a fallen world, or disobedience has opened a door that gives the enemy a right to step in and stir up trouble. In light of this, the Word of God has a remedy for that too. We can claim his promise in Isaiah 54:7. “There is no weapon formed against us (from the enemy) that will prosper.” Examine your heart before the Lord, don’t justify your actions or wrongful doing, then simply respond to your accuser of the brethren, “God does not reveal to man, what he has covered by his grace.”

Copyright “The Little Book of Abundance” Laurie Marks Vincent
No reprint in paper or digital magazines, or broadcast in any form is permitted without the expressed written permission of the Author.
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Hey Friends,

It’s been a while, but I have a good reason for such a slow update.

I finished my last engagement for the Spring on June 2nd.  Every event this Spring has been wonderful and I’ve seen God touching so many hearts, from Seniors groups, Sunday morning church services to Women’s groups too.

On June 3rd, I woke up and had no voice. Days went by and I started to have a voice, but it sounded like Mickey Mouse. A terrible virus hit my sinuses and bronchial tubes all at once. My voice box was shut down. I pulled an “all-nighter” being treated at a hospital and returned home. No one at my home church except my Pastor, a few friends, and the church secretary heard hide nor hair of me (except by email or quick phone call) until the 3rd week of July.  At this point, it’s been a little bit up and down as I recover. Sometimes, my voice is there, and sometimes it’s not.  An evaluation from a vocal coach “Karen Lane O’Connor” says when I can sing, it sounds really good, but my voice is still healing.  As a result, besides a few short sprints of a song here or there, I won’t be doing any lengthy concerts for a while.   I did accept an opportunity to share a few songs at a Ladies’ Summer Brunch on Aug, 12th along with a brief devotional. It was well received with grace and understanding, since the Holy Spirit ministers through the words and music, thankfully, and is not dependent on how good my voice sounds.

Way back in February, I injured my left hip. I have hobbled through all my Spring ministry engagements, expecting that it’s going to heal sooner or later if I just rest it and use ice and heat along the way.   It was very laborsome and I could tell that my body was compensating for the imbalance. Doctors kept showing me stretches I could do. They suggested that I do aquafit, physiotherapy and core strengthening exercises. I saw a few specialists but the more I tried to do what they recommended, the worse it has become. During the first week of July, my left hip seemed to snap into place but left throbbing pain. It’s never been the same. Over the last week, the pain has increased so badly and the inability to walk any length of time has become overwhelming at times.  A heating pad has become my home base.

On Wednesday, Aug 2,  I had an MRI with the dye injected into my left hip so that it would be a “high contrasting image” on the MRI. Before the MRI, I met with my radiologist and she told me that they were looking for a labral tear in the left hip joint. She discussed my symptoms with me and although I do not have the results of my MRI yet, (not til Aug 21)  the radiologist is pretty certain that this is my problem. The worse case scenario is that I will need surgery to repair the labral tear OR I choose to continue walking with this pain, like a lame duck and eventually face a total hip replacement. The best case scenario (in the natural) is that the tear is minor and the treatment will require a lot of down time, rest and limited mobility, either way, I will face some prolonged physiotherapy without a miracle. Another scenario is that it is not a labral tear at all, and we continue to find the right medical help. While I want to believe for a miracle, as many of us know, the process doesn’t always bring an instant miracle. In addition, doctors have realized that I may have damaged the left and right Piriformis muscle due to a bad fall I had in 2013, that is now complicating problems even more. This is a muscle that lays over of your Sciatica in the lower back. I am now experiencing numbing in my hips, through my legs and feet. It’s minor at this point, but I want to avoid any further damage. This is very discouraging and frustrating for me, as I have been attempting to raise funds for the “Blessing Fund” so that there are funds to provide for families in crisis. I am also embarking on a fundraising campaign to complete a new CD (50% done) but WHAT I REALLY NEED RIGHT NOW, (besides your prayers that I deeply treasure) is to simply rest in the Lord… and an electric scooter to get to doctor’s appointments and help me get around, shopping etc.  I’ve often used my ministry income to help support the costs of past events for the ministry to the Christian Women Fellowship in my region, and this means that without ministry engagements because I need time to heal, I have no income.   I do this with a passionate servant’s heart. The Lord has always come through just in time, and I continue to trust him to provide. At this point, in all the times that I have been instrumental in gathering funds through the charity, for others who are in need, now, I am in need. I am a little weary and although I am believing for a miracle, it can take some time to see past the overwhelming circumstances and gain the inner strength to rise up in faith. I remember well because it was a 13-year journey with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, and Depression before the Lord miraculously healed me.  Thank you for your prayers and support. I would love to hear from you and I appreciate your prayerful feedback tremendously, more than you know.

I will resume recording new radio devotionals for WJIC, the Cpop Network and Racman Christian Radio in a few weeks. I will also be preparing for Women’s Event “Fall into Jesus” with Joanne Goodwin, scheduled for Sept 22, 2017. See details here.  I’m also looking forward to what God will do in 2018 since I have seen that churches and organizations have already booked me for the year ahead. Organizations, specifically “pro-life” organizations will be a new experience since I will also be sharing in highschools too.

There have been some ministry developments with new music but I can’t release that information yet because of the work in progress. When the time is right, I will not waste time getting the news out to you.

Thank you for your heartfelt sincere prayers and God bless you.

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Four Keys to Riches in Christ

Prayerfully consider these four keys to wealth and riches in Christ, to apply them in your walk with Christ.

#1 KEYS TO RICHES IN CHRIST (God’s Goodness)– Psalm 72 The goodness of God was displayed in Solomen’s life and he was asking for more because he wanted to look after the widows, orphans and the poor. He was distributing what he had to give to others so that he could influence the world around him. This is what made him wealthy in many ways. It wasn’t how much riches he had, it was what he did with what God provided to him.

#2 – KEYS TO RICHES IN CHRIST (God’s goodness) – Find yourself “in Christ”. Jesus said in John 17, the glory the Father has given to me, I give to you. Ephesians 2:6 says you are seated in heavenly places in Christ. From heaven flows his blessings, through him, flows his blessing and in him exists every blessing. His Spirit dwells in you and you partake of his glory and goodness, by faith.

#3 KEYS TO RICHES IN CHRIST – (God’s goodness) – Unselfish Motive. Good leaders sacrifice in order to help others gain. Our motive should be to give God glory and to benefit others. Jesus marks this as a golden rule “Do to others what you want them to do to you.” (Matthew 7:12)

#4 KEYS TO WEALTH (God’s Goodness) – Increase comes from giving. “God so loved the world that he GAVE…” giving is a part of God’s nature. He gave the fullness of himself when he gave his Son Jesus, and he works his nature in us as we walk in Christ. You can give him praise, your talents, your resources. When you are doing this, you are stepping into the glory of God’s goodness (his wealth and riches) being manifested into your life.

by Laurie Marks Vincent. – copyright, The Little Book of Abundance. You are welcome to share this on social networks, however, please do not copy without the expressed written permission of the author.


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WISDOM LIKE GOLD – “In Difficult Times”

You aren’t troubled with adversity, sickness or trials so that you can be subdued by them. They have a purpose because God never wastes any opportunity to draw you closer to him. They are meant to teach you to pull your strength from God because his strength is perfect. He makes up the difference in your weakness. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” I understand all too well how very hard it is to pull yourself up when the pain is overwhelming but take courage because Jesus said he overcame the world. (John 16:33) The cross is your victory and everything you need was accomplished then. It’s yours for the taking! The woman with the issue of blood never asked Jesus for healing, (Matthew 9:20–22, Mark 5:25–34, Luke 8:43–48). She believed and pressed in through the crowd for her prize. Her faith is what caused the virtue of healing from Jesus to flow through her. Jesus never said he would move the mountain for you. He said you believe and do not doubt and SPEAK to the mountain and it has to move. (Mark 11:23) First, you must exercise your faith, like it is a muscle, by using the Word of God to strengthen your spirit. Faith comes by hearing the Word of God. (Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ. Romans 10:17 NIV) Sometimes you have to spoon feed yourself the Word of God like it’s your medicine for whatever troubles you. Speak the Word of God out loud to yourself so that your spirit takes it in as you hear it. If you need healing, use scriptures about healing to strengthen your faith. Whatever your need, speak Scripture because it is a weapon to fight off the enemy and gird your faith. Ephesians 6:10-14 tells us “Finally, be strengthened in the Lord and in the strength of his power. Clothe yourselves with the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. For this reason, take up the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand your ground on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand. Stand firm therefore, by fastening the belt of truth around your waist, by putting on the breastplate of righteousness…” Use the Word of God because it is your sword, (“Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:17) Your trouble and adversity is certainly a battle. It is a mountain you need to move or he gives you the power to climb over it. Either way, you have been given the weapons and authority to overcome through Christ. It’s yours for the taking when you press in by faith, strengthened by his Word. James 1:2-4 says, “My brothers and sisters, consider it nothing but joy when you fall into all sorts of trials because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect effect, so that you will be perfect and complete, NOT DEFICIENT In anything.”

by Laurie Marks Vincent. – copyright, The Little Book of Abundance. You are welcome to share this on social networks, however, please do not copy without the expressed written permission of the author.
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WISDOM LIKE GOLD “Conditional Relationships”

(Relationships in Leadership)

“Conditional relationships” are based on one or both person’s need. These relationships are not based on pure acceptance or mutual partnership because when one party of the relationship forms an opinion about the other, a judgemental perspective forms and then they distance themselves from the relationship. Communication to discuss these discrepancies is often weak in these types of relationships. In some relationships, a sense of competition causes one party to look down on the other. This is a form of compensating when they may feel they have lesser value than the other party in the relationship.

Jesus never responded or reacted in relationships like this. He never did any of these things. He never separated himself from people but loved them and always let them know they were accepted. He was always inclusive, not exclusive. He never placed boundaries in relationships to get away from people but instead, he redirected their misaligned thoughts and only secluded himself for a brief time to rest and recharge.  He determined to set people free and send them on a path of victory, healing, deliverance, and success. He truly demonstrated the Kingdom of God.

Even as Believers in Christ, the fullness of his love can never totally be experienced because he is so great. We will never realize the fullness of his unconditional love until we reach our eternal home. As leaders, we define his love, with the very expressed love of Christ working in us and through us, by example in words or through our actions.  They have to experience his love before they can live it and share it, as they grow to be a leader with a servant’s heart too. I encourage you today to take the positive in people, especially the one who is left out or seen as the outsider. Build them up. Help them to realize that they can step to a higher level in their gifts, abilities, and in their walk with God. Then be practical and provide them with resources to send them on their way. Don’t harbor jealousy of other’s success but join with them to celebrate. Be genuine and active in other’s successes. This is the reflection of a leader who has a servant”s heart.

by Laurie Marks Vincent. – copyright, The Little Book of Abundance. You are welcome to share this on social networks, however, please do not copy without the expressed written permission of the author.
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